Die Anarchen

I could feel the warmth of his skin, the tiny hairs that covered his cheek while he softly whispered into my ear. Promises, so many of them.. No, it was more than promises. He knew, he knew everything that I was, what I wanted to be, what I would be. The dark words his deep voice whispered were all that it took to weaken my knees. A shiver emerged out of the dark pit that was my inner sanctuary and crawled up into my shoulders with a fury. I was shaking, before he had even begun to speak. I could not tell if it was fear, or hopes, or devotion or pure, evil greed that governed my heart while he stood there, so close to me that I could hear our clothes rustle quietly when he drew breath for the next revelation to make.

Never before or after had I felt so alive again, yet so lost and afraid. So lust- and sinful. So powerful. I turned my head when the words had stopped coming and his gaze met mine with just an inch between us. Silence emerged, while he patiently, softly dismembered me with those cursed eyes of his.

"Yes." My voice was so raw, at first I wasn't sure he had understood. When he smiled, almosed sad, I knew he had. He knew, I was his now, until the last day.

What have I done..

"Logan."

I saw him turning his head, while it took him a moment to realize I had spoken to him. "Yes?" he answered orderly, like the soldier that he was. He cleared his throat, looking at me for whatever instructions I was about to give to him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked the young Cainite softly. His shoulders tensed up underneath my question and he frowned. "Yes, of course. It is a good cause to fight for."

"It is not a battle like the ones you know, Logan." I had to make sure he understood. "You will be in, deep and dirty and it will cost you more than blood and pain. It will cost you heart and soul, if you get attached."

"I won't." he promised without hesitation. "I will not risk our success. Your success." There was a sense of pride, of belonging in his eyes when he looked at me. Fighting for us was his cause, it was the right thing to do.  Our cause was the one to give a simple man a purpose. We had all the answers to all his life-long questions. So he thought.

The disappointment came soon after, when he realized, that his dream was a Utopia. A fictional world of good for all of us. But just that. Fictional. Just that. A dream.

Instead, he was living in a world of lies and betrayal and his light flickered in endless darkness like a candle in the wind..